Embracing Your Date's Beige FlagsJun 16, 2023
I hope you've been well. I took a break last week to reflect and regroup. We all need time to reflect and grow as individuals, when dating.
During my period of reflection, I couldn't help but think about a conversation I had with one of my students. She shared some of the interesting experiences she had with dates who had distinctive habits and interests.
The dating world is full of excitement, anticipation and occasional surprises. It's also a period of great anxiety, self doubt and confusion. These surprises are what I call Beige Flags.
Beige Flags are those quirky habits that may leave you stunned or confused, but they're not necessarily deal breakers. In fact, it's often a time to get curious and exploratory.
Let’s take a deeper dive into eight daters and their peculiar habits. See which ones you've come across and explore how you can approach them with an open mind, curiosity, and a sense of playfulness.
The Obsessive Texter
We've all encountered that date who seems glued to their phone, constantly texting and sending emojis. While it can be frustrating when you're trying to connect with someone face-to-face, understand that everyone has their own communication style. Some have a need for constant contact while others experience FOMO.
Instead of feeling ignored or pushed aside, speak up about your desires and preferences. Your ability to openly communicate your feelings and desires will set you up for success regardless of what happens with your date. Express your preference for Mr Right to be Mr Right Now by being more present and focused during your time together. Establish a healthy balance where both of you can engage fully in the present moment.
If putting away the phone and being present and attentive during your time together is impossible for them, it might be time to move on.
The Serial Planner
Some people have a natural talent for planning every minute detail of a date. From the itinerary to the backup plan, everything is meticulously orchestrated. While this level of organization can be impressive, it may also leave you feeling a bit stifled, controlled, and lacking spontaneity.
If you find yourself with a serial planner, let them know that while you appreciate their efforts, you also value a more relaxed and laid-back approach to dating. Allowing room for unforced and unexpected moments to occur naturally can lead to a deeper connection and real growth.
By taking turns planning the date and balancing structure with spontaneity, the two of you can create more memorable and enjoyable experiences together.
The Pet Parent
Pets play an important role in many people's lives, yet some daters take their role as pet parents to the next level. You might find a date who constantly talks about their furry friends or includes them in every aspect of their lives. While their love for their pets is commendable, it can be overwhelming at times. Fido is wonderful but there's also a need for human connection.
You can show genuine interest in their deep bond with their furry companion while engaging in convos with them about your own interests and passions. Find opportunities to create a balanced dynamic that includes both you and your interests, along with those of your date and their beloved pets. Never sell yourself short.
By finding common ground, you can build a connection that encompasses both your relationship and their love for their pets.
The Collector of Odd Hobbies
It's not uncommon to discover that your date has a unique and unexpected hobby or collection. Whether it's collecting vintage dolls, mastering legos, or participating in competitive knitting or butter sculpting, these peculiar interests can spark curiosity, intrigue and bafflement.
When faced with such a situation, it's important to approach it with an open mind. Embrace their unusual hobby and show support. You might find that their passion opens you up to identifying your own weirdly, bizarre passions and interests.
The Foodie Adventurer
Most dates begin with a meal, and for some it's an opportunity to showcase their adventurous side. They may order the most exotic dishes on the menu and insist on photographing each one. While it may initially seem intimidating or annoying, consider embracing their sense of adventure and culinary exploration.
Use it as an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and try new foods. Engage in conversations about their passion for food and understand the purpose behind their desire to capture these moments.
You never know, you might discover a new favorite dish or develop a shared enthusiasm for getting that perfect shot.
The Sensory Maverick
Imagine going on a date with someone who is a connoisseur of pleasure. They excel in creating immersive experiences that tantalize your taste buds, seduce your sight, and envelop you in captivating aromas. Their goal is to indulge your senses to their fullest extent.
You may have lost touch with your senses, but accept this invitation and surrender to the pleasure of the moment and embark on a sensory journey, like no other.
By allowing yourself to embrace the experience, you might find yourself captivated by the sensations and enjoy creating lasting memories together. Embrace and enjoy!
Some daters thrive on the excitement of public displays of affection and the adrenaline rush that comes with being caught in the act. They may seek out secluded corners for steamy make-out sessions or suggest daring adventures in semi-public spaces.
If you feel comfortable with this level of public intimacy and are open to exploring your passion in unconventional settings, it can ignite a flame of excitement in your connection.
However, it's crucial to set clear boundaries and ensure that both you and your partner feel comfortable, safe and secure in your escapades. Choose your moments wisely and respect the boundaries and comfort levels of one another and those around you.
The Role-Play Maestro
Imagine going on a date with someone who has a talent for creating elaborate scenarios and assuming different personas. They bring your fantasies to life with unparalleled enthusiasm, whether it's as a sultry seductor, a mysterious stranger, or a powerful authority figure.
If you’re open to entering a world of possibilities and exploring new roles and experiences, be sure to communicate your boundaries explicitly up front. Openly discussing your comfort level can have you happily embarking on an adventure that blurs the lines between reality and fantasy.
While the weird habits of our dates may not always align with our own preferences, approach them with curiosity, open communication and a sense of playfulness. By embracing these quirks and seeking to understand their motivations behind them, you can foster a deeper connection and build stronger relationships.
Remember, a little dose of weirdness can add excitement and richness to the dating experience. Be bold and embrace it. Accept their quirks, find common ground and embark on a journey of discovery and connection with your potential partner.
Let yourself be captivated by the intriguing and unconventional habits of your dates.Your best life is predicated on acceptance, growth and intimacy. You might just find a new side to you, one that opens you up to being your true, authentic, quirky self.
I'm curious which ones you've encountered on a date. Reply to this with your experiences and let me know if their beige flags turned crimson or emerald for you.
If you're looking for expert dating tips, strategies, and techniques, consider joining the Art of Dating Academy starting in September.
In this 8 - week program, you'll earn how to attract, connect and date wonderful, worthy men and create the loving relationship you deserve.
I can't wait for you be a part of this.
Dare to date differently,
Elizabeth (your wingwoman, in life and love)
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