14 Ways To Tell If Your Date Gaslights

gaslighting Apr 14, 2023
14 Ways To If Tell Your Date Gaslights

Don't you love it when you finally meet someone you connect with?

If you're like most, you've probably been dating for quite some time. And when you meet someone and things click, it feels amazing.

There's nothing better than going on a few dates and feeling like, he's the one.

I'm happy it's going so well for you. My work is done.

A few months go by and you feel like something's off.

You can't quite put your finger on it but you begin doubting yourself.

You begin second guessing yourself.

Things feel uneasy when conversing or going out with the one you've been seeing.

Sometimes he cancels and he says he told you something came up but you know he never did.

He makes a joke at your expense and when you call him out, he says you're too sensitive.

He discourages you from seeing your friends and family and has an us against the world mentality which felt good in the beginning.

You feel uncomfortable and are afraid to say anything because it might provoke him.

You make excuses for his behavior to your friends and family.

You've waited so long for a relationship and now you have one, so why complain?

You wonder if what he says is true, maybe you are unstable or have a faulty memory.

The two of you have a nice time when together but so often you feel like you're walking on eggshells.

You wonder if it's you.

You wonder if you were more supportive, more encouraging things would be different.

You might begin to blame yourself

You wonder what you're doing wrong.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but this is not a healthy relationship.

When you feel uncomfortable around someone, when you no longer believe in what you see and say that's the time to reevaluate.

It appears this suitor is most likely gaslighting you which is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse.

How do you know for sure?

Ask yourself...

Does he lack empathy and compassion for you or others?

Does he seemed distant and detached?

Is he impulsive, reactionary or antagonistic?

Does he criticize or belittle you or others?

Does he minimize your thoughts and feelings?

Does he distract you when you call him out on things?

Does he alter the facts or says he did or didn't say something causing you to question reality?

Does he tell you that you really don't like certain people or say they're no good for you?

Does he tell people stories and untruths about you?

Does he tell people or you that he's worried about you and that he only wants to help?

Does he blame you for things?

Does he say you're selfish or greedy?

Does he say you're crazy, unstable, forgetful?

Does he say, "You would if you loved me" or "I was just kidding" or "You're overreacting" or "You're imagining things".

If these are ringing true, it's important to get support and end the relationship.

It's going to be hard but it's so much better than wasting your time in a relationship that's not healthy.

Please seek out a friend you can trust who can help, support and encourage you as you end this. If you don't have someone in your life currently, please see a therapist who can shed light on this relationship.

I want you to be happy. I want you to feel confident, comfortable with yourself and be whole when dating. 

There's nothing I want more than for you to be in a happy, loving and connected relationship.

You deserve it.

Sending you loving support.



Elizabeth (like Hitch, but real)


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