Leslie Throws Up Before DatesApr 29, 2023
It's not uncommon to feel first date jitters.
Especially if it's someone you like or someone who's incredibly handsome.
Dating someone like that will make the calmest, most grounded person feel anxious and nervous.
When I was a teenager, my best friend, Leslie and I would go on double dates, a lot.
Her dad wouldn't let her go out alone, so I was in essence, her wingwoman.
Leslie would get asked out by a guy she liked and would have him bring a friend for me.
Before every date, Leslie would feel butterflies in her stomach.
She'd feel a tightness in her chest and would start to have a rapid heartbeat.
Her hands would get warm and clammy. She would tremble.
Right before every date would come to her house to pick us up, Leslie would throw up.
I never could understand why...
She knew the guy, whereas I didn't know her date or mine.
I was going on a blind date and I was looking forward to it.
Of course I felt butterflies in my stomach, too, but I told myself it was because I was excited.
My chest felt tight and my heart would beat fast, as well, but I knew it was because I was eager to meet someone new.
My hands felt warm and sticky. I'd begin to jump around feeling restless. I knew this was because I felt thrilled to be going out and I looked forward to having fun.
Leslie and I felt similar sensations but experienced them completely differently.
I had a sense of anticipation and excitement to how the evening would unfold.
Leslie felt dread and worry wondering if her date would like her and if she'd get asked out again.
This got to be such a pattern that I grew to expect it.
I felt like I was talking her off the ledge every time we double dated.
I'd try to change her thoughts by asking her what she liked about the guy.
I'd tell her how lucky he was to be going out with her.
I'd tell her how pretty she was, how charming and amazing she was.
I'd tell her how much of a catch she was and how his breath would be taken away when he saw her in her beautiful new dress.
Eventually, she'd calm down enough to reapply her blush and lipstick.
After the date, we'd always return to her home laughing and smiling after having a great time.
It's interesting how we both wanted to date but one of us felt angst and worry while the other felt excitement and delight.
Although we experienced the same physical sensations, our interpretations were polar opposite.
After talking to a doctor about this subject (yes, I'm eternally curious), he informed me that adrenaline has no emotions.
Fight or flight doesn’t date much.
I discovered it's just a boost of energy. That's it, nothing else.
It’s neither good nor bad.
And it can mean anything you want it to.
Leslie and I were friends for a number of years and eventually, I learned why she felt anxious about dating.
As a little girl, she'd watch her divorced mother get ready for a date and see her mom frantically run around.
Her mother would run from room to room tidying up quickly before the date would arrive.
Leslie witnessed her mother out of breath and panicking when she opened the door.
For Leslie, this was how you prepared for a date.
Leslie now lived with her dad in a beautiful well maintained home north of Atlanta, there wasn't any tidying up that needed to be done.
Yet, Leslie mimicked everything that she had seen growing up with her mom.
In order to calm down my bestie, I'd talk softly reinforcing all of the wonderful things about her.
Together, we'd work through the physical sensations she felt in her body. I taught her how to reframe them.
Overtime, she learned how to view the sensations in a positive light.
She began to appreciate her feelings instead of fighting with them. She actually began looking forward to the date.
Unbeknownst to me, I was already a dating coach and loving every minute of it.
It's just one of the many ways I can help you learn how to find the fun in dating.
So, what about you?
Do you get nervous and anxious, like Leslie, when thinking about going on a date?
Or do you feel excited and optimistic, open to all of the possibilities?
No matter how you feel, you can still have fun and enjoy getting to know someone.
The Art of Dating Academy (ADA) can help.
ADA is an interactive 8 - week course designed to help you attract wonderful high quality men. You will enjoy getting to know them while you get to decide who's worthy of a second date.
You'll begin loving and appreciating yourself knowing that you're a catch.
You'll get excited, tuned in and turned on while going on a date full of happiness, excitement and curiosity.
Allow me to teach you how to enjoy yourself and finally be in the relationship you've always wanted.
Ask yourself, if it's a year from now and I'm in the exact same place, will I be happy?
If the answer is no, lets' talk.
If the answer is yes, let’s talk.
I invite you to schedule your complimentary Strategy Call by clicking the link below.
I only have a few openings left on my love calendar.
Click here to schedule your call.
If not now, when?
Lets' get you what you truly want...
a happy, loving and connected relationship with a man who causes your heart to skip a beat in the best possible way.
Sending you much love,
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